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VOLUME FOUR
Diary
of a Traveling Preacher, Volume 4 - Chapter 25
"I honestly feel this is the path that you should follow"
Bhaktivedanta Asrama, Govardhan Hill, India, 17h October to 20th
November 2002
"While wearing the loincloth and torn quilt of a renunciate,
maintaining my
life with fruits that have fallen from the trees, discussing
transcendental
topics, not wasting time in any manner, giving up all kind of false
ego, and
begging alms door to door, I will constantly reside in the forest of
Vrindadevi following in the footsteps of those who are completely
surrendered to Sri Radhika."
[Sri Vrindavan-mahimamrta, Sataka 1, Text 64]
While on the road from Delhi to Vrindavan, I decided to write a
mission
statement of how I would conduct myself and what I hoped to achieve
during my two-month stay in the holy dhama. I had experience from
the past that unless one is focused on spiritual activities,
precious time in holy places can be whittled away socialising and
simply caring for bodily needs. I
searched through the scripture and found a verse that seemed
appropriate for one in the renounced order of life living in the
holy dhama:
gramya katha na sunibe, gramya varta na kahibe
bhala na khaibe ara bhala na paribe
amani manada hana krsna nama sada la'be
vraje radha krsna seva manase karibe
"Do not talk like people in general or hear what they say. You
should not
eat very palatable food, nor should you dress very nicely. Do not
expect
honor, but offer all respect to others. Always chant the holy name
of Krsna,
and within your mind render service to Radha and Krsna in Vrindavan."
[Caitanya-caritamrta, Antya-lila 6.236-7]
Upon arriving at ISKCON's Bhaktivedanta Asrama, just meters away
from the
sacred Govardhan Hill, I settled into my simple quarters and made
plans how
to apply my mission statement. Not hearing what people in general
had to say seemed the easiest part, for there are no newspapers or
magazines at
Govardhan. Despite the fact that nearby Vrindavan has grown
immensely during the past few years, being a popular destination for
seekers of the truth and tourists alike, the area around Govardhan
Hill remains much as it has been for centuries - simple and rural.
Besides, any newspapers that might find their way to the area would
be in Hindi, saving me from any temptation.
As far as eating was concerned, I decided I would eat only kichari
and
capatis for the month of Kartika. That also would not be so
difficult as it
is my preferred foodstuff, apart from an occasional subji or salad.
Regarding my dress, because I would not be preaching in public I had
brought along only two lots of old cloth, which would allow me
to blend easily with the local sadhus.
As for honor, I was fortunate to find myself in the association of
advanced
godbrothers who were either residing or had come to spend time at
the
asrama, hearing and chanting - godbrothers like Jayadvaita Maharaja,
Vaisesika das, Gopiparanadhana das and Kesava Bharati prabhu. To
earn their respect would require my rising to their level of
realization and service,
something that would take more than the two months of purification I
hoped to achieve living at Govardhan.
The most difficult part of my mission statement would be to
constantly chant the holy names and render service to Radha and
Krsna within my mind. Chanting rounds beyond the basic sixteen
would require determination and practice, as well as a genuine
higher taste, and rendering service to Radha and Krsna within my
mind would mean nothing less than bona fide spiritual advancement.
Both of these activities come only with great effort and
perseverance.
pramanais tat sad acarais
tad abhyasair nirantaram
bodhayan atma natmanam
bhaktim apy uttamam labhet
"The highest devotion is attained by slow degrees by method of
constant
endeavor for self realization with the help of scriptural evidence,
theistic
conduct and perseverance in practice."
[Sri Brahma-samhita, Text 59]
I had come to Govardhan to pursue these goals. I wasn't on vacation.
I had
come to perform the necessary austerities to purify my heart to
enter deeper into my understanding of Krsna consciousness, and
return to the West to share my newfound realizations with others.
I had purposefully come with only one servant, Radhe Syama das, to
help me with practical affairs like cooking and cleaning. I felt
that any more devotees would distract from my singular purpose of
bhajan. But Giri-Govardhan had other plans. Srila Prabhupada once
commented, "I have my plan, you have yours, but Krsna has
His!"
Just two days after I began my fixed routine of chanting extra
rounds,
reading and eating once a day I received an unexpected email from a
very old friend. It read: "Coming to India in two weeks.
Looking forward to seeing
you soon! Your friend, Craig."
Craig Scott and I were acquainted in high school, but became close
friends
in our first year of college. We lived in a rented house near the
campus
along with a few other boys, and did all the wrong things together -
activities which were typical of the hippie youth of the late 1960s.
However, all of us held Craig in high esteem because he went beyond
experimenting with mind-enhancing drugs to find spiritual truth.
Indeed, he
was an avid reader of spiritual books and often frequented lectures
of
various yogis and gurus.
When I moved away from San Francisco in 1969 I briefly lost touch
with
Craig, until I received a letter in which he wrote that a few days
earlier
he was meditating in a yoga asrama when someone announced that a
large
parade of a spiritual nature was about to start in Golden Gate Park.
The
person said that three big chariots would be the centerpiece of the
occasion, and anyone who manned the ropes to pull them would be
granted
liberation from the material world. Craig said he immediately left
the asrama and ran to the park, where he found the parade was just
beginning. He grabbed the ropes of one of the carts and pulled for
as long and hard as he
could, convinced that he must have achieved liberation. But the real
treat
came at the conclusion of the event, when he heard the group's
spiritual
master speak from the largest of the chariots.
Craig wrote: "I could tell he was a fully enlightened soul, and
I honestly
feel this is the path that you should follow. It's called the Hare
Krsna
movement."
At the time I knew nothing of the Hare Krsna movement, and his (in
retrospect) prediction meant nothing to me. Little did I know that
in the
not-so-distant future one of my services to that "fully
enlightened soul,"
Srila Prabhupada, would be to organize similar Ratha-yatra festivals
around
the world!
That was the last time I heard from Craig until nine months ago,
when I came across his email address on our high school website. I
wrote to him, and he replied immediately. We met on my visit to the
US last spring, during which I casually invited him to come to
India. But his email to me in my bhajan kutir at Govardhan
confirming his arrival came as a surprise.
Two weeks later we met at Delhi Airport. I didn't know what to
expect. Would Craig, who had never been to India, be able to adjust
to the climate and the exotic cuisine? More importantly, how in the
world would he fit into my strict schedule of bhajan? Only after
many years of active devotional service had I attained a desire to
sit and chant in a solitary place for purification. And that was
only a desire - I had yet to prove to myself that I could actually
achieve that platform.
But all doubts and apprehensions were dissipated when I saw Craig.
He was
wearing a japa bead-bag and had a Bhagavad-gita in his hand!
He said, "Before the trip, I visited the local Hare Krsna
temple in San Diego to learn more about your faith. I guess they
thought my inquiry was
sincere enough to give me these beads and teach me how to chant. I
love it!"
"And the book?" I said, still amazed at his devotional
appearance.
"Well, that's another story," he replied. "As I was
on my way through the
terminal at Los Angeles Airport, a devotee approached me with the
book. He began by asking where I was going. Boy, was he surprised
when I told him that I was going to a place called Vrindavan in
India to be with an old
friend who is now named Indradyumna Swami! In fact, he was so
shocked that he gave me the book!"
Craig took to Vrindavan like a duck to water. In particular, he
immediately
fell in love with what he called the "living mountain,"
Giri-Govardhan. The
scriptures say that 5000 years ago, out of His causeless mercy, Lord
Krsna
assumed the form of Govardhan Hill to accept the worship of
His devotees.
"I have no problem accepting that the mountain is a
manifestation of God,"
Craig said one morning, "if only because there are so many holy
men here
bowing down to Him with all sincerity. Who am I to doubt such great
souls?"
After the second day at our bhajan kutir, I would often see Craig
paying full dandavats to Govardhan Hill. "Are you praying
also?" I once inquired.
"Oh, yes," he said. "I'm praying to Him that I
can become a lover of God. I
always wanted to focus on God, but never knew the method. Here, God
is
manifest before my eyes. Also, unlike other temples I've been to,
the
curtain never closes!"
Soon Craig was following the same program as myself. We rose
together at
2.30am to chant our rounds, read Srimad-Bhagavatam and relish the
morning prasadam. "I love this thick soup (kichari),"
Craig often said.
One of his favorite activities was doing parikrama around Govardhan
Hill.
But neither of us could complete the full 22km. One morning, halfway
around the hill, he said, "We have to try. We're getting older
and we have little time."
Seeing his newfound urgency in spiritual life gave me faith that
Giriraja
was bestowing His mercy on him.
But his most satisfying comment came while walking to the Krsna
Balaram
Mandir for Srila Prabhupada's disappearance day festival. As we
approached
and saw the big pandal and thousands of devotees waiting for the
ceremony to begin, Craig turned to me and said, "I feel very
fortunate to be here. I think it's a result of seeing and hearing
Srila Prabhupada speak at that Ratha-yatra festival 33 years ago.
It's by his mercy that I am here. I
wonder why it took me so long to come?"
I didn't answer, but remembered Srila Prabhupada's quote, "The
best will come last."
When it was my turn to speak at the festival, I came before Srila
Prabhupada's murti and paid my obeisances. As I rose and prepared to
read my offering, I noticed Craig sitting nearby softly chanting on
his beads. From the corner of my eye I saw him listening
appreciatively as I began to read. It seemed natural, for we were
indebted to Srila Prabhupada for the same reason: he had delivered
both of us from material existence and revealed to us the glories of
Sri Vrindavan Dhama, the spiritual world.
As I continued to read, my voice resounding over the sound system, I
felt I
was speaking for the two of us. It didn't matter that I came first
and had
spent the most time in Krsna consciousness. By the mercy of Srila
Prabhupada, the eternal seed of Krsna consciousness can sprout in
anyone's heart and fully blossom at any time.
Dearest Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept my most humble obeisances in the dust of your lotus
feet. All glories to you!
Today, in this sacred abode of Vrindavan Dhama, we are observing the
25th
anniversary of your deparature. In this world, love generally tends
to fade
after a long period of separation, but the opposite seems true in
transcendental relationships, for since your departure your
followers'
attachment for you has only grown. The answer to this apparent
contradiction is given in your conclusion to the Caitanya-caritamrta.
Referring to your own spiritual master you write: "He lives
forever by his
divine instructions - and the follower lives with him."
This is the miracle of Krsna consciousness, Srila Prabhupada: that
for those who follow your instructions, even death itself
cannot restrict your association.
Srila Prabhupada, I have been following your instructions carefully
ever
since I met you, through the transcendental medium of your
disciples. It was Visnujana Maharaja who introduced me to you,
saying, "Come here young man and I will tell you the glories of
my spiritual master!" His dedication and love for you was
infectious, and within moments he accomplished what could have taken
many lifetimes. Almost effortlessly, I also gave up my sinful ways
and became your humble servant! It was only one of many miracles
which you showed the world, Srila Prabhupada: that I, a lost soul,
could become a devotee, with hopes of going back home, back to
Godhead, in this very lifetime.
Srila Prabhupada, it was your instructions that attracted me to your
lotus
feet, your instructions that kept me close to you when you were
present, and your instructions that have maintained and nurtured our
relationship since your departure. And I have faith that by
continuing to follow those same instructions, I will one day have
your divine association again.
Srila Prabhupada, someone might think I deserve such mercy, for the
little
service I have done has somehow earned me recognition. But
this is
certainly maya's joke, for in fact I am a bumbling, stumbling fool,
maintaining my material desires, slow in taking up the process of
devotional
service in earnest, quick to revert to my past bad habits, and
always
struggling with the mind and senses. What hope is there for such a
foolish
pretender?
The answer lies in trying to fulfill your most cherished desire. I
cannot claim to know the innermost recesses of your heart, Srila
Prabhupada, where pure love for Radha and Krsna gushes like a
beautiful mountain spring. But I do know of one special desire in
your heart - a desire you shared openly with us and often expressed
in your books:
"The duty of all devotees is to preach Krsna consciousness
everywhere in the world, because all living entities are suffering
the pangs of material
existence. To preach Krsna consciousness is the best welfare
activity.
Indeed it is described by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu as para-upakara,
work for the true benefit of others."
[Srimad-Bhagavatam 7.7.53, purport]
The task of delivering the conditioned souls suffering in this
material
world was your foremost desire while among us, Srila Prabhupada. I
have
spent the better part of my life trying to help you fulfill that
desire, and
on this auspicious day I want to dedicate the remaining years of my
life to
that very same mission. One could easily say it's more appropriate
to retire
at this time, because such service has already brought me to my
knees. My
aging body has grown weary through years of organizing public
festivals,
performing thousands of hours of street sankirtan and traveling
hundreds of
thousands of miles to preach around the world. But how can I stop?
The
service I have rendered falls all too short of the debt I owe you
for the
priceless gift of Krsna consciousness you have given me.
evam janam nipatitam prabhavahi kupe
kamabhikamam anu yah prapatan prasangat
krtvatmasat surarsina bhagavan grhitah
so ham katham nu visrge tava bhrtya sevam
"My dear Lord, O Supreme Personality of Godhead, because of my
association with material desires, one after another, I was
gradually falling into a blind well full of snakes, following the
general populace. But Your servant Narada Muni kindly accepted
me as his disciple and instructed me how to achieve this
transcendental position. Therefore, my first duty is to serve him.
How could I leave his service?"
[Srimad-Bhagavatam 7.9.28]
Besides, preaching your message is like drinking hot sugar juice:
although
it burns the lips, it is too sweet to stop!
The sweetness is in seeing the devotional transformations in the
hearts of
people, big and small, who receive your mercy. By your desire alone,
such
miracles seem to take place on a daily basis throughout the world. I
see
them continuously, day after day, month after month, year
after year. Once, after a huge festival in Durban, our guest of
honor, South African President Nelson Mandela, put his hand on mine
and with tears in his eyes said, "Maharaja, this is the
greatest day of my life!"
Just last year, again near Durban, when myself and a group of
devotees were passing through a tribal village in Kwazulu Natal,
thousands of children
began defiantly chanting, "Zulu, Zulu, Zulu," in complete
bodily consciousness. But when I picked up the mrdanga and
started to sing the
maha mantra, suddenly all of them began chanting Hare Krsna and
dancing
alongside me. What is this great miracle of the holy names you've
given that makes the whole world dance in ecstacy?
On another occasion, Somaka das told me of his trip along the Amazon
River, ten years after I had visited the region. During his journey,
he saw a
20-year-old man in a remote village who, to his astonishment, was
chanting
japa under a tree. When Somaka inquired how he had come in touch
with the maha mantra, he said he had received it and the japa beads
from me during my Amazon sojourn. He said the chanting had changed
his life for the better, and so he sat on the bank of the river
every day waiting for me to return. Srila Prabhupada, your mercy has
inundated even the most remote corners of the earth!
Then, miracle of miracles as I witnessed a crowd of 350,000 young
people at the Woodstock festival in Poland three years ago
enthusiastically and
continuously chant the maha mantra as Sri Prahlad and his band
played on the main stage. No doubt the tumultuous sound
created by the crowd's chanting and the huge cloud of dust raised by
their dancing inundated Svargaloka, causing the demigods to stand
motionless in astonishment of your glorious accomplishments.
Certainly there are many more miracles to be witnessed by those who
give their lives to your sankirtan mission, Srila Prabhupada. Please
include me in whatever plans you have for such preaching from this
day forth. Having
tasted the nectar of spreading the glories of the holy name, I can
never
return to the burnt remnants of the so-called pleasures of this
material
world.
As far as my retirement is concerned, I pray to follow in your
footsteps, my
glorious master. May I retire from preaching only when I have
breathed the
last breath allocated to this body. And if it pleases you, let that
be only
a temporary respite, for I am prepared to serve your sankirtan
movement
birth after birth.
Your eternal servant,
Indradyumna Swami
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